Why YOU Must Come Before Your Child - Care for Self

So here's something that many of us don't do so well. As parents, we often put ourselves dead last on our list of things to take care of. In an effort to be the best parent we can be, we put our kids first always and our needs, wants, and desires take a back seat to our children. 

Putting ourselves first, would be selfish, right? 

Wrong. 

What if I told you that if you neglected your self-care, it would make you a bad parent? If not, today then tomorrow, or the next day eventually you would be drained and unable to be who you want to be for your kids. Remember the instructions you get on an airplane about those oxygen masks? Why do they tell you to put your mask on before helping your child? It's because if you pass out, there won't be anyone there to help your child.

Taking care of your personal way of being is the foundation for good parenting. Check out "The Parenting Pyramid" and when you are struggling with parenting woes, it might be time to look at your foundation.


So, since we all want to be good parents (most of the time anyway), this is your ticket to taking some time to nurture yourself because it's really in the best interest of your children. That means that sometimes they will have to wait and learn to respect your boundaries and limits. In fact, if you are having difficulties with your children take a step back and make sure you are taking good care of yourself. I mean the best care possible, not the kind where you lock yourself in your closet and binge on treats to alleviate your stress levels. The kind of care where you feel whole and good about yourself.

Do a little check-in with yourself and make a plan to be intentional in several of the areas below that were mentioned in the article by Matthew Glowiak (2020), "What is Self-Care and Why is it Important For You?"

Emotional – Talk to someone, reflect, journal, read, do something artistic, listen to music, work out, take a walk, watch something that suits the mood (or does the opposite and changes it), cry it out, hug someone, cuddle, laugh, take a nap.

Environmental – Take a walk somewhere nice, breathe in fresh air, enjoy the sun, enjoy the night sky, avoid littering, pick up litter, reduce waste, use reusable products, recycle, clean your house, redesign a room.

Financial – Develop a practical financial plan, open a savings account, start saving (even if $1 per day), try saving even more if you are already saving, invest, cut back on unnecessary purchases, consider where you can cut corners, avoid credit cards, ask for a raise.

Intellectual – Read, listen to audiobooks, watch documentaries, complete puzzles, be mindful of the world around you, become curious, try something new, tap into your creative/artistic side, take a class, complete a program, graduate.

Occupational – Learn a trade, get your degree, train for a promotion, accept the promotion, put together your resume, polish your resume, apply for your dream job, take on a task you enjoy, open your own business.

Physical – Work out daily, take a walk, eat healthily, get your annual checkup, see the dentist, take medications as prescribed, avoid drugs and alcohol, get 7-9 hours of sleep, see the physician when you do not feel well.

Social – Meet up with friends and family, keep in contact with old friends, volunteer, go out, have fun, engage in healthy social media use, exude positivity, utilize technology when distance is a factor, have a big laugh.

Spiritual – Meditate, pray, reflect, engage in yoga, visit a meaningful site, do right by others, be mindful, consider your higher purpose and meaning, look to your higher power for support, love one another, help those in need.

Marion G. Romney said, "Without self-reliance, one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak." 

We need to learn to be self-reliant so we can help others, in this case, our children. We need to fill our buckets so we can fill our children's buckets as well. So, take the time, make a plan, put it on the calendar, and be the best parent you can be by putting YOU first.

Sources:

Matthew Glowiak. April 14, 2020. What is Self-Care and Why is it Important For You? Retrieve from

https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/health/what-is-self-care

President Marion G. Romney. October 1982. General Conference, "The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance". Retrieved from

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1982/10/the-celestial-nature-of-self-reliance?lang=eng

 (Links to an external site.)October 1982 General Conference



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